all I want is a fresh roll

    I am craving bread.
    BAD.
    But... I am not allowed to eat it.

    November 7, 2011 was a fun day for me. I went to the doctor because I have been sick for a while now. My poor tummy has not been doing so hot these last couple months. I figured it probably wasn't a good idea to spend my whole life nauseous, faint, in pain, (etc) 24/7. So that's how I wound up speaking to the good man Doctor Slack. After describing symptoms and being asked all sorts of awkward questions in front of my mom, the Doctor Slack said he was pretty concerned about a couple things and would like to take my blood for a couple tests. I had never had my blood drawn before.... at least this would be the first time in my life that I can remember.... and guess what?! IT DID NOT HURT. In fact, it fascinated me. Who knew you could fill up so many little tubes with so much blood from one small poke in the good ol' elbow pit. So besides the fact that he did not tell me what half of the tests were for, I was very pleased with the ease of my blood labs.

    But we are not talking about blood here, we are talking about bread and how very bad I want to eat it.

    AND how I can't. Because the doctor told me I can't. After waiting a while for the results to come in he told me the blood labs showed that the celiac levels in my blood were way higher than normal and that it is very possible that I could be the newest celiac to walk the streets of Utah County. So for two weeks I am not allowed to eat wheat, barley, oats, etc. and see how I feel after, then a biopsy of my intestines and the possibility that I might have to have a couple tubes stuck up my body in weird places (i.e. colonoscopy) to check for tumors/infection/polyps. That is all he really told me, so that's all I really know, besides the fact that the very moment I was told I couldn't eat bread, it became the one thing on this planet I even felt like eating. Funny how that works huh?

    You know what else is funny? My whole life I have read the scripture that states "man cannot live on bread alone" well for the next couple of weeks... and potentially the rest of my life.... I can't live on bread at all. That scripture has taken a new meaning for me these past couple of days, because in order to not be upset about how I feel, or mad that I can't eat certain things, I have needed to put a lot of trust in God and know he has my whole life planned out so I can become like him. This is an opportunity for me to become closer to him if I have the right perspective.

    I guess where I am going with all of this is that with all the needle poking, and special diet planning, I have learned to be grateful and not take anything I have for granted, because who knows when you won't have it again. I think maybe I am supposed to learn something from this... I have always been so healthy and blessed and I think for that reason sometimes I don't appreciate what I have because having good things has always been a part of my life. This experience has taught me that I need to be grateful for each tiny part of my life as small as that part might be. Whether or not this celiac intolerance will be temporary or permanent, I am grateful for the experience, even though it is hard because of the things I have learned.

"It is not a question of God allowing or not allowing things to happen. It is part of living. Some things we do to ourselves, other things we do to each other. Our Father knows about every bird which falls to the ground, but He does not always prevent it from falling. What are we to learn from this? That our response to what happens is more important than what happens. Here is a mystery: one man’s experience drives him to curse God, while another man’s identical experience drives him to bless God. Your response to what happens is more important than what happens." –Chip Brogden